真的很讨厌被比较的感觉
你可以羞辱我 污蔑我
唯独不能在拿我和别人比较的前提下 羞辱我
如果坚持要这样
我们之间没有讲话的余地了
就连最要好的朋友也没情讲
如果那么爱拿别人比较
如果话题都只围绕在拿别人作比较和讲废话
毫无意义地抬高某些人 尽踩另一些人
更可笑的是 你们却完全不知道你们的问题在哪里
甚至不觉得自己有问题
我一直不提 因为我希望总有一天你们自己会懂 可惜事实斐然
时间久了 渐渐发现每一个人都有各自存在的意义
你硬硬要拿来比较
那你干脆就选那一个比较好的嘛
为什么还要罗里吧嗦地讲废话 作比较
不管是人 事 还是 物
既然作不到改变 那就闭嘴
既然一开始就抱着偏袒的成分
那何必拿那一个比较差的当作消遣的工具
哪怕是开玩笑
我也很讨厌别人拿我来开玩笑 做比较
厌恶到甚至想揍人的程度
以前在大家面前装成什么都想懂
目的只是想要让自己不被无视
现在既然这招也无效了
也再也没有这个必要瞎掰什么话题
反正到最后的结果 所有的话题和重点都只会放在别人身上
最近真的越来越不知道怎么和别人沟通
每当一见面 大家都忙着告诉别人 自己有多忙 多累
稍微出众的那一个 可能会被嘘寒问暖一下
然后就说完了 聚会也就散了
这根本不叫聚会 这叫宣泄会
所以每一次自己都很少发言 因为觉得没有那个必要
大家都只顾着发泄的份
那又有几个是出自真心想关心身边朋友的分？
如果友情的价值 只能用发泄来作为衡量的标准
那很抱歉 我真的很不稀罕
如果我的关心 每一次都被曲解为八卦
那我问你们 朋友的定义是什么？
认真觉得你们很肤浅
朋友不都是互相关心的依靠吗？
还是大家都觉得 心里各自被一些人占据了 就再也容不下被人的关心了？
还是大家都觉得 一大群朋友的陪伴
不过是为了不让自己感到孤单的寄托
曾经听说过
与人相处 是人一生当中最高深莫测的学问
我渐渐开始明白了
地球那么大 7.2兆的人口
7.2兆的独立灵魂 都有各自对事物不一样的见解
要找一个能真正明白自己的人 恐怕比登天还难
2015年5月3日星期日
累了
上来这里越来越频密
心情却每况愈下
回首往日那些一有开心事就往这里丢的日子
去了哪里
那一天考试8个小时考三科
三科不过70分的那种忧虑
奖学金不包的那种迫在眉睫
想哭却没有眼泪的委屈
不知道要怎样开口 一切来得太突然
回到家 爸妈又唠叨为什么当初不读高三
你们只会骂 只会讲
吃软不吃硬 我受的
可你们就是要一味用硬的
我顶你几句 说我的思想利欲熏心 无药可救
你就他妈的不可以好声好气跟我说话
在家里 没有一次不是被骂的一无是处
在外头 受尽一切白眼 那种瞧不起的眼神
对啦 我就是笨
对啦 我就是那么败家
对啦 我就是犯贱 爱顶嘴
对啦 我就是那么该死被你们讲
我已经不想跟你们沟通了 完全不想
放假的第三天
看了40多集的武则天
只想让自己沉浸在古代的皇宫
忘掉现实生活中的委屈 恐慌 孤单
情这个字是多么的表面
你要多假 就有多假
情这个字更是那么地脆弱
时间 利益 金钱
就足以让它毫无招架之力地被侵蚀
现实生活中不也常常上演这种戏码
有些人锋芒毕露 有些人趋炎附势
更有些人见低就踩 见高就拜
你不优秀 又有几个人会瞧得起你
你不显著 又有几个人会看你一眼
你不突出 又有几个人会以诚相待
我想 确实要一辈子来参透这些人生哲理
心情却每况愈下
回首往日那些一有开心事就往这里丢的日子
去了哪里
那一天考试8个小时考三科
三科不过70分的那种忧虑
奖学金不包的那种迫在眉睫
想哭却没有眼泪的委屈
不知道要怎样开口 一切来得太突然
回到家 爸妈又唠叨为什么当初不读高三
你们只会骂 只会讲
吃软不吃硬 我受的
可你们就是要一味用硬的
我顶你几句 说我的思想利欲熏心 无药可救
你就他妈的不可以好声好气跟我说话
在家里 没有一次不是被骂的一无是处
在外头 受尽一切白眼 那种瞧不起的眼神
对啦 我就是笨
对啦 我就是那么败家
对啦 我就是犯贱 爱顶嘴
对啦 我就是那么该死被你们讲
我已经不想跟你们沟通了 完全不想
放假的第三天
看了40多集的武则天
只想让自己沉浸在古代的皇宫
忘掉现实生活中的委屈 恐慌 孤单
情这个字是多么的表面
你要多假 就有多假
情这个字更是那么地脆弱
时间 利益 金钱
就足以让它毫无招架之力地被侵蚀
现实生活中不也常常上演这种戏码
有些人锋芒毕露 有些人趋炎附势
更有些人见低就踩 见高就拜
你不优秀 又有几个人会瞧得起你
你不显著 又有几个人会看你一眼
你不突出 又有几个人会以诚相待
我想 确实要一辈子来参透这些人生哲理
2015年4月2日星期四
完成了2/9的alevel
我还是不想下定决心说 我后悔离校没有读高三
一个人走的这条路 依然那么充满荆棘
就这样不久的的四月尾将迎来第一学期的考试
考不过 奖学金就保不住了
别说我是什么fullA学生 瞎担心
当你来到这里 发现到原来如果你不够自立
一切当初的梦想 坚持的理由都是炮灰
没有可以倾诉的对象 没有读书的动力
再这样下去 挫败感好像只会越来越澎湃
我不知道我怎么了
我不是不开心 也不是很开心
上课 图书馆睡觉 游泳池游泳
星期一到星期五 一个人
我知道我必须学习 适应一个人
可是我还是不习惯
全世界都以为我很潇洒
那些都是屁
卦着毫不在乎的表情 躲在行尸走肉的躯壳里
到底是不是我想太多 还是只是怕寂寞 怕孤单 想找人陪
手机uninstall了推特 脸书
whatapps没有必要也不想作无谓的回应
我真的不知道自己怎么了
当全世界以为自己瞎担心 想太多
你不体谅就算了 还要来一句 “是你自己拿来的”
你不关心就算了 还要来一句 “这是你自己的事情”
我要的只是 鼓励 关心
希望这个学期赶快结束
一个人走的这条路 依然那么充满荆棘
就这样不久的的四月尾将迎来第一学期的考试
考不过 奖学金就保不住了
别说我是什么fullA学生 瞎担心
当你来到这里 发现到原来如果你不够自立
一切当初的梦想 坚持的理由都是炮灰
没有可以倾诉的对象 没有读书的动力
再这样下去 挫败感好像只会越来越澎湃
我不知道我怎么了
我不是不开心 也不是很开心
上课 图书馆睡觉 游泳池游泳
星期一到星期五 一个人
我知道我必须学习 适应一个人
可是我还是不习惯
全世界都以为我很潇洒
那些都是屁
卦着毫不在乎的表情 躲在行尸走肉的躯壳里
到底是不是我想太多 还是只是怕寂寞 怕孤单 想找人陪
手机uninstall了推特 脸书
whatapps没有必要也不想作无谓的回应
我真的不知道自己怎么了
当全世界以为自己瞎担心 想太多
你不体谅就算了 还要来一句 “是你自己拿来的”
你不关心就算了 还要来一句 “这是你自己的事情”
我要的只是 鼓励 关心
希望这个学期赶快结束
2015年3月17日星期二
彷徨
失去方向
十八岁了 好尴尬的年龄
对未来失去方向
走一步是一步的感觉很彷徨
选错学校 选错科系
白白浪费两千多块 转科系
学院生活不是讲笑的累
以为自己开始适应环境了
结果又转科系 转班 转环境
不是在后悔自己离校 只是觉得很后悔选了这里
想要倾诉 却发现再也找不回那几双会聆听的耳朵
每一次和每一个他的聚会
想找个安慰 听一句由衷的加油
却不想把负面情绪带给他们
每一次的欲言又止 都只能用沉默和笑容来掩饰
Alevel不简单 想放弃读foundation 甚至更想不读书了
一次又一次的打击 觉得自己很蠢 很无助 很笨
出国升学梦 坚持地只剩下浮影
意外地发现 原来父母的收入根本不多
也开始不想再要求些什么 甚至留在本地读大学算了
當初的自以為 自以為可以拿到獎學金出國唸書的想法
原來都好像是自己在高估自己的能力
有好多好多次 打開whatapps
想找個人出來喝茶 聊天 卻又怕打擾
鍵盤輸入了很多字 然後逐個逐個按backspace删除掉
就算真的约出来了
又怕被被嫌弃自己是个想太多的人 于是又是另一个欲言又止
今年最开心的时刻 依然逗留在那一个生日星期
孤独 真的会让一个人变的厚脸无耻
你可以喧嚣 但不要在我面前
不懂就请不要装懂
我真的替你感到可悲
你没有朋友 说我们读书仔
然后自以为地不要脸地参别班 我无话可说
来到了这里 认识不到新朋友
自以为自己是中心人 就做了些无谓的事
我不想辜负我们同班四年的缘分
企图示好 你却给我那个大便样
你可以忽略我 但就请不要在背后放箭
你可以针对我 但请不要拉拢别人杯葛我们
不要忘记 你曾经也是我们的一分子
一直都在给你好朋友的面子 忍你
请尊重你老妈子赐给你的嘴巴
2015年2月5日星期四
Complicated
3 months passsed since the day left ChongHwa.
Adapting myself to the new environment is always the toughest struggle that i have been encountering so far.
We all know what we need, what we want
yet our ability to achieve something has always been the main concern.
To be frank , i'm still doubting the decision i had made.
I know there is no turning back
I'm not regretted for my leaving from chonghwa
perhaps i had made the wrong choice of college
I'm desperate to go back there,
not for any reason except meeting them.
They could be the reason if i had chosen to stay
Had two outingswith 5szhongers'14
We shared our thoughts genuinely
Gossiping like there is no barrier between us
And i really treasured the moment spent with them
somehow conceived a notion of
how awesome would my life be if i had chosen to stay
missing my friends there so badly,every single of them
reminiscing the past has been being one of my habit recently
Still need sometime to completely get used to this new chapter of life.
Adapting myself to the new environment is always the toughest struggle that i have been encountering so far.
We all know what we need, what we want
yet our ability to achieve something has always been the main concern.
To be frank , i'm still doubting the decision i had made.
I know there is no turning back
I'm not regretted for my leaving from chonghwa
perhaps i had made the wrong choice of college
I'm desperate to go back there,
not for any reason except meeting them.
They could be the reason if i had chosen to stay
Had two outingswith 5szhongers'14
We shared our thoughts genuinely
Gossiping like there is no barrier between us
And i really treasured the moment spent with them
somehow conceived a notion of
how awesome would my life be if i had chosen to stay
missing my friends there so badly,every single of them
reminiscing the past has been being one of my habit recently
Still need sometime to completely get used to this new chapter of life.
2015年1月4日星期日
Let Pictures Speak
First post of 2015.
The third day of January, Saturday's noon.
Here comes my new chapter of life: College life.
The first day of orientation in Mckl was fine enough.
Will be talking about it someday.
Had been going through many up and downs in 2014.
Really appreciated what I had gained and lost.
The blog is too DRY with words.
Let pictures speak to conclude my 2014's school year.
January:
Chinese New Year Events
The very first 5sZhong'14 class event!
February:
Random Class picture with 2014 CHKLs Head Prefect.
March:
One of the faked girl-friends I had had in my high school.xD
Took this picture during 321 Chkl's 95th Birthday Anniversary Performance.
Didnt get a chance to take picture with Lcs although that day was his birthday too. =( Have you finished reading your birthday present, ahlong?
One of the most important person in my high school life.
Happy 17th Birhtday!CoCo Lim.
April:
We visited Sunway University together for Accounting camp and English Camp!
Too bad crashed with twh's and cky's birthday. ='(
Rearranging my table just for MORAL PROJECT. :p
May :
Am officially a driver.Got my car license without failing any parts of the exam!
How lucky!
Yes, you are right.She was the first passenger of my driving life.
May is her birhtday month too!Had a great night in her house on 27th of May
Well,i did really had a crush on her for once. shhssss...!
T
September :
We celebrated Deacon's birthday on 12th day!
Felt so guilty for not preparing any present for him. :/
That month was a tough one,especially in our class.
Everyone was busy studying,and taking spm trial so damn seriously.
Anyways, I hope that we didnt disappoint you on your birthday,bro. =)
So we skipped okl's tuition just to get some refreshment after
the stupid spm trail exam ! Family lunch with my love.
Snoopy,i am missing you very much!!
He came to my house and left the world just in 3 days. :'(
October :
It was a memorable month.
Photo-booming month.
The last class i had belonged to during my high school life in ChongHwa.
Class wefie! Millions likes to this photo!
Selfie with them during the last school day in ChongHwa.
Awesome friends i had met during the past 5 years.
There were sooo many more people but lemme just simply grab
this collaged picture from instagram.
I'm too lazy to post every single of it , sorry =(
The boys from Dry Gang!
The one with largest breast at the left
Most charming person in the middle
Longest leg owner at the right
The girls from Dry Gang!
The most common word used to describe them : FAT
They somehow look alike to each other from certain angles.
Love every single of them.
洪门夜宴！Celebrated mama hon's and papa hon's 51th Wedding Anniversary
In El Cado Restaurant!
Novermber :
The day after biology exam.
We had a class "lok lok" party in ChowLing's House!
Enjoyed ourselves as we had finished Spm exam,unofficially. hah!
December :
That moment right after the last paper of Spm ended.
All the best to your undertaking future =D
Good luck in SUEC ,I'm sure that you can do well and get straight As !
2nd-5th
5sZhong'14 Class Penang Trip
P18 gang !
3 boys 3 girls ,again LOL
That day in Penang Escape Theme Park was kinda fun!
*let us take a picha first!
6th-10th Melaka Trip with them
Panaroma Shot on the beach!
Drove along South-Noth Highway for the first time of my life.
They had seriously stolen many of my first times.
14th-16th Legoland and Singapore Trip
Real Family Picture
I swear that i didn't act this for any purpose!
Must had taken by my uncle ,without realizing it.
Picture taken in Flower Dome ,Marina Bay
20th Day
Instead of attending Grand Dinner ,I had participated in a 3 days camp,which is the Business Carnival Camp organized by Help University.Met new friends and some chkl seniors. Feel glad that i had the chance to explore the business world.
Also , it was totallly FOC ! 5 meals included per day ,how generous they were!
Celebrating Christmas Day with cousins in da house!
Random outing with them before school commences.
Beanie Day
"Yuen Long" was taking selfie beside us! hahaha
Your jaw line is obvious enough already , happy? xD
The person i met most of the time during the holiday.
31th Day
Countdown at KLCC , with them again.
Feeling grateful for everyone that had existed in my 2014.
Don't misunderstand please , she was holding a party at her house!
Last day of May was my father's birthday. =)
June :
To be honest , i think this must be my best hair style of the year.
2014 June was definately can be concluded as my good-hair-month,
Random outing with ampang's gang!
Outing with her after 628 Performance's Rehearsal.
YES, JUST ONLY HER.
Petronas Cup Chinese Orchestra Competition in Perak.
Our so called "intensed-hardcore-training" in last minute did paid off!
Grabbed silver awards with the easiet song ： 将军令！
Had a memorable night with 高二s'gang too,teeheeee!
Make up for 628 Performance!
Ignore the ugly janitor's shirt please. T.T
T
July ：
Kick out hunger! The very first time participating in Hunger Game's Camp.
Being a crew of a camp is not that simple and easy. ==
Grabbed the golden opportunity to take pic with Myfm Wayne!
Exams were driving us crazy! Random pictures with deskmates!
August :
We met a little girl far from China!
Those students from China came our school for student exchange program.
*FuYuan had indeed ruined the picture = =
Those students from China came our school for student exchange program.
*FuYuan had indeed ruined the picture = =
Proud of being CHKL's representative for the Barcode Scanning Competition!
September :
We celebrated Deacon's birthday on 12th day!
Felt so guilty for not preparing any present for him. :/
That month was a tough one,especially in our class.
Everyone was busy studying,and taking spm trial so damn seriously.
Anyways, I hope that we didnt disappoint you on your birthday,bro. =)
The very first finisher medal that I had gotten during the Parkson Run
Had a nice walk with jiemin and wuiling =D
And yeah you,the one who left me behind ,i know you will see this soon!
Not to lay this on you , just saying ...haha!
Had a nice walk with jiemin and wuiling =D
And yeah you,the one who left me behind ,i know you will see this soon!
Not to lay this on you , just saying ...haha!
Bedford tuition gang!The day i had my very first lava cake in Publica!
Driver of the day after tuition, again! =3=
Driver of the day after tuition, again! =3=
So we skipped okl's tuition just to get some refreshment after
the stupid spm trail exam ! Family lunch with my love.
Snoopy,i am missing you very much!!
He came to my house and left the world just in 3 days. :'(
October :
It was a memorable month.
Photo-booming month.
The last class i had belonged to during my high school life in ChongHwa.
Class wefie! Millions likes to this photo!
Selfie with them during the last school day in ChongHwa.
Awesome friends i had met during the past 5 years.
There were sooo many more people but lemme just simply grab
this collaged picture from instagram.
I'm too lazy to post every single of it , sorry =(
The boys from Dry Gang!
The one with largest breast at the left
Most charming person in the middle
Longest leg owner at the right
The girls from Dry Gang!
The most common word used to describe them : FAT
They somehow look alike to each other from certain angles.
Love every single of them.
Dry gang family picha!
洪门夜宴！Celebrated mama hon's and papa hon's 51th Wedding Anniversary
In El Cado Restaurant!
Novermber :
The day after biology exam.
We had a class "lok lok" party in ChowLing's House!
Enjoyed ourselves as we had finished Spm exam,unofficially. hah!
Primary school friends' gathering at Klcc!
Watched the only cartoon movie that I watched in 2014 : Big Hero 6!
Watched the only cartoon movie that I watched in 2014 : Big Hero 6!
December :
That moment right after the last paper of Spm ended.
All the best to your undertaking future =D
Good luck in SUEC ,I'm sure that you can do well and get straight As !
2nd-5th
5sZhong'14 Class Penang Trip
P18 gang !
3 boys 3 girls ,again LOL
That day in Penang Escape Theme Park was kinda fun!
*let us take a picha first!
6th-10th Melaka Trip with them
Panaroma Shot on the beach!
Drove along South-Noth Highway for the first time of my life.
They had seriously stolen many of my first times.
14th-16th Legoland and Singapore Trip
Real Family Picture
I swear that i didn't act this for any purpose!
Must had taken by my uncle ,without realizing it.
Picture taken in Flower Dome ,Marina Bay
20th Day
Instead of attending Grand Dinner ,I had participated in a 3 days camp,which is the Business Carnival Camp organized by Help University.Met new friends and some chkl seniors. Feel glad that i had the chance to explore the business world.
Also , it was totallly FOC ! 5 meals included per day ,how generous they were!
Celebrating Christmas Day with cousins in da house!
Random outing with them before school commences.
Beanie Day
"Yuen Long" was taking selfie beside us! hahaha
Your jaw line is obvious enough already , happy? xD
The person i met most of the time during the holiday.
31th Day
Countdown at KLCC , with them again.
Someone was missing, huh?
Feeling grateful for everyone that had existed in my 2014.
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